Every family has a story, and a lot of them are about the children. The children may be six months or sixty years old. They may be biological children or stepchildren. They may be close, or they may be estranged. Here are some of the most common questions.
Do I have to leave a dollar to each of my children even if I don’t want to leave them anything at all?
No, not in Arkansas. But I strongly prefer that your estate plan states your intentions explicitly.
If you are using a Will, you must acknowledge that the child exists. If you don’t, the “forgotten” child can claim the portion of the probate estate that they would have been entitled to if there had been no Will. This can be a good thing, if Mom and Dad wrote their Wills before the youngest child came along and never updated it. This is not so good if Mom and Dad wanted to disinherit one of the children. If you are using a trust, I strongly prefer that you are direct about your intentions.
Will my stepchildren get my property?
Maybe, if you choose the “do nothing” alternative to estate planning. Example: Mom and Dad each had children from a previous marriage. They didn’t adopt each other’s children, and had no children together. Mom and Dad have each other named as primary beneficiary on their IRAs and life insurance, and all of their assets – home, cars, bank accounts – are joint. Dad dies first. Mom automatically owns the joint property, and collects the life insurance and IRAs. When Mom dies, everything goes to her children. Dad’s children get nothing. The moral of the story? Take time to do an estate plan.
I have raised my stepchildren from the time they were babies. Will they inherit from me like my own children?
Generally, no, unless your estate plan provides for them. It doesn’t matter if you’re the only father/mother they have ever known, if you didn’t adopt them, they are not legally considered your children. Emotionally, yes; legally, no.
Can I make sure my children don’t squander what they inherit?
You can try, but only if you don’t give the children control over the money. If it is held in trust for them, with a neutral third party in charge as trustee, you can set up some rules for how the money can be used. You’d have a better shot at preventing them from squandering it. But, if you don’t want to put someone else in charge of it, you really can’t. Once it’s theirs, it’s theirs to do with what they please.
Can I make my children co-Trustees?
Yes, but I would try to talk you out of it if they don’t get along. Sometimes I ask clients if, when the kids were young, would you leave three of them alone with two cookies? If the answer is no, I would advise you against naming siblings as co-Trustees. If you don’t want to choose one over the other, pick a neutral third party.
My son has stepchildren. If my son dies before I do, will his stepchildren get any of what would have been my son’s share?
Generally, no, unless you have provided for your son’s stepchildren.
I’ve heard horror stories about family fights after Mom or Dad die. How can I keep my children from fighting with each other over my money?
The best way I know is to take the reins yourself and leave as few decisions as possible to the children. You have the legal means to specify who gets what and how they get it. They may not like it, but they’ll all be mad at you, not at each other.
Not all siblings end up arguing, and I don’t know your family. Your children may do beautifully sharing both your property and the responsibility. The hard truth is that it’s hard to predict how people will act when grief and money are combined. In my experience, siblings who fight about money, or “things”, aren’t really fighting about money. They are still fighting about getting their share of that cookie.
